You Betcha!
There’s something really interesting that happens when you work on being present.  You start to get joy from the simple things in life.  I’ve noticed it recently when I’m not working, I’ll wander into the backyard or sit in my favorite armchair and for no apparent reason I’m filled with glee.  I don’t look for things to fill my time, I simply let myself love my life exactly as it is in that moment.  I look around, I tune into my body, and I appreciate the simple act of being.  It’s effortless, there’s nothing you actually have to do to exist, (besides eating and sleeping but you know what I mean), nothing is required of you to simply be.  It’s become so noticeable, and frequent, lately that I sparked up a conversation with my friend and tried to convey how happy I was just being.  I explained that I love reading a good book or catching up on a show on Netflix, but when I’m doing those things I’m doing.  I’m filling my time.  And while I might be filling my time with pleasant activities, it’s a different feeling than being.  After trying a few different ways of saying it I finally ended up with a statement I felt encompassed the essence of what I was trying to get across.  “There’s something so fulfilling when you stop doing and start being”.

Now I don’t know if it was the fact that my friend was slightly tipsy, but after a few seconds of pondering my statement I got a reply that shows how rare it is for us to allow ourselves to just be.  That reply was, “I don’t know if I’ve ever allowed myself to just be.  If I have, I don’t think I had a conscious awareness of it.  I always feel like I have to have a purpose or I’m not using my time well enough.”  And this was coming from somebody who’s sole Sunday plans was to lie in bed and watch tv.  No judgement, sometimes those days are just what the doctor ordered, and they definitely serve a purpose.  But it really got me to thinking, we humans are always looking for something to do.  We feel like we have to be doing something, productive or otherwise, to fill our time.  And noticing the difference recently in how I feel when I’m doing versus when I’m being, I can’t help but wonder if that mentality doesn’t just not serve us but if it is actually doing us a disservice.
 
Ironically it Takes Work
Now don’t get me twisted, this ability to simply be is a relatively new thing for me outside of meditation.  Sure, I’ve appreciated a moment just for the fact that it is here and there, but to sit and just appreciate the state of being isn’t a skill that came naturally to me after 40 years of merely surviving life.  It’s definitely something that I’ve cultivated, mostly subconsciously, the past couple years as I decided to start loving my life.  I can’t even begin to count the number of times I have sat down and thought, “wow this is a beautiful day”, then immediately picked up my phone and started scrolling through social media or reading.  If I had to pinpoint what made getting to this state possible, I’d probably have to attribute it to three things.  Meditation, Present Moment awareness, and a deep desire to feel my connection to source energy and the universe in general.  I think that’s probably the trifecta.

Seriously, think about it.  Allowing thought to slow down, connecting to stillness and silence, letting go of the past and future and focusing on the now, and really allowing yourself to feel the energy that runs through every living being and connects us.  How could you do anything other than be in those moments?  It’s a little awe inspiring, definitely joy inducing, with a touch of calm and balance thrown in the mix.  To throw away all the weights, worries, stressors, doubts, and fear is freeing.  For that moment, however long it lasts, you can simply feel joy, appreciation, satisfaction, gratitude, love, and bliss.  Because being, without all the drama and contrast we throw into it, is honestly pretty exhilarating.  I find myself nodding my head a lot in those moments.  As if on some level a part of me is saying, “yep this is what it’s all about and how lucky am I to be so blessed”.
 
Every Man for Himself! Kinda.
Getting to that moment reminds me of listening to my mentor, davidji, when he guides a meditation and says, “notice how the swirl inside of you and the swirl outside of you are slowing down”.  I feel like the vibration of source energy at large and my own bit of it that I have wrapped up in my flesh are in sync, resonating in such a way that it’s impossible to not love simply being alive in that moment.  Now that I’m aware of it I’m able to tap into that feeling at a moment’s notice with very little effort.  And I’ve seen some pretty awesome side effects of doing so.  I’m able to catch myself the moment my energy, moods, feelings, thoughts, and emotions veer into the realm of negativity much sooner than I ever have before.  Which then allows me to stop that momentum and get back to the good feeling thoughts, to get back into alignment and that higher vibration, and to get back to enjoying simply being.

I wish this was an epic blog post where I could tell you exactly how to get to that point, it’s not.  This is a state of being that each person has to cultivate on their own and in their own time.  There’s no quick fix, no instant gratification with this one my friend.  But, I will tell you what you can do to speed up the process, the things that can only aid you in getting there.  Meditate in whatever fashion you enjoy the most, practice present moment of awareness, and dive deep and learn who your authentic self is.  Allow following joy to be your priority and allow yourself to find joy in the smallest and simplest of things.  Let go of the need to do and start practicing the art of being, even in small little bursts.  Play around with it, have fun with it, get excited that you will get to that point.  Before you know it, there you’ll be.

PS. If you want to really dive deep into this stuff and want some help, maybe this is your sign that it’s time to email me and set up the call that just might change your life.  Or, if you just want a little inspo and motivation, follow me on TT or IG.

From time to time, I get the feeling it’s time to open myself up, lay myself bare, and show you what life looks like for me.  It’s the best way I can think of to show you that living a life of joy is possible even when your life isn’t “perfect”.  Even when you aren’t where you thought you’d be or wanted to be or even the dreaded should be.  This post is one of those times because I feel like the universe gave me a little wisdom that won’t just help me, but will help you too.  So, let’s do this. 
 
Origin Story
If you aren’t familiar with my origin story, or even if you are and just forgot, it’s important to know that around the time I turned 20 I got some pretty gnarly anxiety.  The easiest way to describe it is to say I suddenly had agoraphobia, the simplest way to describe it is to say my fight or flight response went haywire.  This took me from a wildly independent woman to a person who felt dependent upon her friends and family for the simplest tasks.  Driving gave young me joy and freedom, suddenly it was the most terrifying experience in my life.  Grocery shopping used to be fun, suddenly being trapped in a store was the stuff of nightmares.  Needless to say, it cut me to my core and changed me in a way that brought me to one of the lowest places in my life for a really long time.  20 years later depression was the only other thing I felt besides anxiety.  I didn’t want to live that way anymore and only saw 2 choices, end it all nor change my life.

I hope you aren’t horribly surprised to hear that I opted for the changing my life path. I mean, I’m writing this so it shouldn’t be a surprise. (I’m winking cheekily at you right now.)  I made my choice, a decision that I felt to my core, and knew my life was going to get better and become one I loved.  I didn’t know how, or what it would look like, I just trusted that it would.  And it did.  From the day I made that choice depression was gone.  I may have a down day or experience sadness, but it doesn’t ever become that all-encompassing pit of despair that I had been wrapped in before.  If you don’t know me that well, you may be hoping that this is where I share that I’m also anxiety free.  Well guess what?  I’m absolutely not.  But before you get too disappointed let’s take a look at where I’m at with that shall we?  (Just say yes and keep reading because I promise you’ll like where this is going!)
 
Sometimes Less is Awesome
So, before I decided to change my life I couldn’t do the following things without abject terror: Drive by myself, shop by myself, be in crowded places, etc.  Now I’m not saying I can do all of those things, but I have absolutely made progress on them.  I drive a little bit, pulling over to take a break when I need to, I don’t immediately panic if I get separated from whoever I went grocery shopping with, I walk to town and go to the bookstore and run smaller errands solo, I can go to concerts with friends, and I even managed to fly to Dallas to see my bestie all by my lonesome (I’m incredibly proud of that btw).  Those might seem like small things to you, but to me they are herculean strides in the right direction.  I know that as long as I keep treating myself as worthy, deserving, and capable I’ll keep making progress.  I’ll keep meditating, feeding myself well, prioritizing my mental health, get good sleep, hydrate.  I know it’s inevitable that I’ll be the freest me I can be.  So what’s the trick and why am I sharing this?  So glad you asked.

Thanks to a bevy of “teachers” I put my attention on the things that light me up and bring me joy.  I learn things and I apply them and I see progress.  But I never give anxiety my focus unless I’m smack dab in the middle of an anxiety attack.  Well, I try not to and have about a 90% success rate.  This is not a pie in the sky mentality, it’s not willful naivety or ignorance, it’s not denying anything.  It’s realizing that right now in this moment there’s not a lot I can do about it.  It is, it exists, and me thinking about it non-stop isn’t going to suddenly free me from the burden that is anxiety.  In fact, it will just give it more juice and why would I want that?  So, I focus on things I can control, I focus on things that light me up and satisfy me to the core.  And as I do that, subtle progress is made.  And it may be baby steps, but that’s still progress.  Other bonus, when my focus is on joy and satisfaction, the other areas of my life get fuller and richer and filled with abundance too.  I’m not bragging, I have a nifty point to make!
 
What’s The Point of it All?
Here we go, are you ready, it’s time to bring it all home.  Recently I had an opportunity arise that I didn’t want to turn down even though the anxiety symptoms that I do experience might make it difficult.  And just like that I was in this weird place of gratitude mixed with trepidation/disappointment.  When I tell you that the habitual energy wanted back in so bad, well it’s an understatement.  I could hear the “what’s the point, you’re useless, you don’t deserve this if you can’t even do that” self-talk building up to make an encore appearance.  I could feel sadness.  But I stopped it, because I recognized that it simply isn’t who or what or where I am anymore.  That’s an old version of me, one who clearly wasn’t very kind to herself.  So I stopped the ugly thoughts and self-talk but I was still left with a “how am I going to take advantage of this gift I’ve been given by the universe?” kind of feeling.  I was still focused on the “I have anxiety and it makes me less than capable” reality.

Well, the universe is perfect.  And I didn’t have to wait long for the gentle and loving reminder that I needed.  I was listening to Abraham Hicks in the shower (no judging please, I love listening to stuff that lifts me up when I start my day) and I was reminded that it’s none of my business.  I have a way right here and now to utilize this opportunity in a small way and I’m 100% ready and willing for more ways to flow to me.  So, my focus shouldn’t be on what’s wrong with me (PS nothing is but ego is a real bitch and sometimes says otherwise), but instead on how amazing that this opportunity even flowed my way to begin with, that I’m clearly aligning and allowing abundance to flow into my life in a multitude of fun and unexpected ways.  I’m thriving and before this little hiccup I was reveling in how blessed I am.  I have joy in my every day, I have passion and purpose, I have laughter and friendship.  Anxiety didn’t keep any of that from me because I am not anxiety.  So I’m ready for the good stuff to flow in, I’ll enjoy waiting for it, and I’ll keep getting ready to get ready.
 
So What Was That Point?
Ok to be fair there’s two points here, let me start with the biggest one first.  Just because your life isn’t where you thought you’d be, or wanted to be, doesn’t mean you can’t love it.  Just because you “have a problem” or there’s “something wrong with you” doesn’t mean wonderful won’t flow your way.  My life is full, sure I may still experience anxiety, but I still love my life.  Opportunities present themselves to me constantly.  I have made so much progress and found so much fulfillment in just a few short years.  I’m wildly happy with where I’m at in life and I know it’s just going to keep getting better and better.  Which brings me to my next point.  Don’t limit yourself, don’t put conditions or requisites on happiness, joy, and loving your life.  There are none.  You are allowed to work with what you’ve got and enjoy it.  Remove the “I’ll be happy when” statements from your life and try replacing them with “I am happy when” statements.  There’s a peace that comes with accepting what is and not fighting it.

If you want help learning how to love the life you have and allowing all the good stuff to flow to you reach out and I'll help!  If you just want some inspiration and motivation while you figure out how to do it solo, I got you there too over on IG and TT.  And if you want a starting point, why not try my 10 Minute Mini-Masterclass to release your blocks to happiness?  In it I give a couple of perspective shifts that will help you love the life you have even while you're creating a better one.

See What Happened  Was
An interesting thing happened to me today.  I received a text from a friend and my gut instinct was some annoyance mixed with a tiny bit of "can you believe this shit" outrage.  Hindsight showed me just what an ego-based victim reaction that was, but in the moment I didn't see it.  But, I had started my day with a gratitude meditation with davidji and 200 some odd fellow meditators. I recognized that this wasn't in line with how I was feeling or wanted to feel.  So, mid rant to another friend I stopped myself and said “but I want to let this go and I don't want to give it energy”. Then I asked myself how I could make a gratitude statement out of it.  And that's when my eyes opened up and I was able to see a bit more clearly.
 
The statement I came up with was Thank you, I'm so grateful you brought about a situation where I could catch myself being defensive and shine a light on an area that could use more work.  I'm so grateful the universe showed me that I am taking this, and the previous situations that led up to this, personally.  And the crazy thing was, I meant it!!!  I then remembered that everyone is doing their best, my friend was seeing the situation through their lenses, and I was seeing it through mine.  And that that is totally ok.  I don't need to see it through those lenses and vice versa. What they think is none of my business and as long as I feel like I did my best to be a good person I can let it go.  So I did, and I carried on with my day and was crazy productive and happy.  And I kind of want to celebrate my growth because I have never before let go of righteous indignation so quickly.  
 
But That's Not The Interesting Part!
I kinda wanted to make the title to this paragraph “but wait there's more” but refrained.  So, here's the interesting part.  I sat down to journal this afternoon, to let go of the day and embrace the evening, and as I did I noticed I felt odd, but not in a bad way.  In a I feel like I should still be smoldering over the situation but I'm not kinda way.  I had to remind myself that not only is it OK to not carry around upset, anger, resentment, annoyance, and negativity in general but that it's a good thing!  What was off, was that nothing was off.
 
I didn't fall into my habitual reaction, but I still noticed the habitual energy like a phantom limb hanging around ready to pop up.  It made me chuckle because I had to scan myself and say ok what's off, what do I need to deal with?  Only to realize nothing was wrong, I actually was winning at life.  How funny that being happy and carefree post-situation felt wrong, that I'm so conditioned to my old bitchy ego driven way of reacting that not doing that and releasing it in a healthy way seemed noticeably discordant.  I honestly am struggling to put the feeling into adequate words because how do you describe the feeling that releasing your toxic traits seems wrong?  
 
Isn't Ego Sneaky?
This is probably one of the most apt and poignant examples of how hard, or non-linear, and ongoing changing your life can be.  It beautifully illustrates how conditioned we are to letting ego lead, to letting negativity overrule positive coping skills, and just how addicted to drama we can be.  It shows that we unconsciously seek the comfort of the known even when it doesn’t serve us.  If I had a client come to me and tell me that story I would make them celebrate such powerful growth!  If ever there was a look how awesome you are moment that was it.  But ego hates being in the backseat and that siren song of our habitual behavior can be so alluring. So much so that you can feel like choosing the right path was a mistake.
 
And I have to be honest, I wonder how many times I've given into it instead of being deliberate about not doing so like I was today.  How long would I have let that feeling of wrongness gain momentum?  How would it have snowballed? I'm incredibly grateful I allowed myself to be open to divine wisdom and guidance though.  I did recognize it, I stopped it before it could take over.  And again with honesty, it's almost as thrilling and empowering as stopping the negative reaction earlier in the day!  There's a bit of a huh...would you look at that feel to it.  Surreal, proud, grateful, pleased and also a small bit flabbergasted. 
 
But I digress
So yeah, growth and healing and transformation isn't linear.  And you can know what you “should” be or want to be doing/behaving/responding to the upsets in life for quite some time before they stick and the knowledge gets to be effortlessly applied.  For this (and every) pretty epic win, I've also had plenty of burn the village down moments.  Cuz duh, I'm human and it happens.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that it'll be happening less and less.  And it all came about because I introduced a pattern interrupt and asked, “how can this be a gratitude statement?”.  Then I went into observer mode and I started looking at it positively.  Once I went into that perspective it just wasn't possible for me to view it any other way.  So maybe this is your sign to find your observer mode, to figure out your witness trigger, to ask more often, how your bad moment can turn into a gratitude statement. And once you do, let me know how it goes for you and if it feels as weird to you to choose joy for yourself over letting your ego feel validated.  And then when you recognize it let me know if you get excited by your progress too.

PS: Don’t forget to follow me on TT and IG for more motivation and inspiration!  And as always, if you’re ready to begin transforming your life into one you love and experience joy everyday (and want help doing it) hit your girl up cuz I got you!

​This Is What You Deserve
Have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months, maybe even just an hour where you feel on top of the world?  You know what you want, and you’re excited not only to get it, but to thoroughly enjoy the journey along the way?  If you haven’t, or if it’s been a while, you deserve to.  And that right there is why I do what I do.  Because that’s what I want for you!  I feel like it’s a really good time for me to share my why with you.  It’s an interesting thing having a blog that not only chronicles my journey but is still of service to you when you read it.  To walk that path of showing you that I know what it feels like to feel angry/scared/sad/depressed/anxious/resentful/etc so you know that I empathize, to know you aren’t alone, while at the same time giving you hope and inspiration by sharing what I’ve learned.  My number one priority has to be me (yours should be too!) but a very close second is you.  Because there’s something I want you to know, and I’m going to tell you and then I’m going to tell you why I want it for you.

You deserve to feel happy, to experience joy every day, to love your life, to love yourself, to be excited about the future.  You deserve to know how to handle stress and sadness and worry so that when it comes up it doesn’t derail you.  You deserve to live your best life, to be the most authentic version of yourself, and to thrive.  You deserve to know that even if you aren’t where you thought you’d be, or where you want to be, that it’s possible to get there.  You deserve to put yourself first and practice self-care guilt free knowing that by doing so you’re giving your best to the people who matter most to you.  You deserve to enjoy the journey and stop worrying about the destination.  You deserve to feel free, to feel gratitude, to feel joy, to feel love, to feel passionate about every part of your life.  You deserve to start (or continue) your journey to joyful and realize pretty quickly that it’s been yours for the taking all along! Read that paragraph again and again until it sticks.
 
This Is My Why
Ok now I’m going to tell you why I want that for you.  Spoiler Alert: This is also why I do what I do.  I want that for you because it’s your birthright.  Well-being, joy, connection, love, laughter…just by existing you deserve that.  You don’t have to earn it, there’s no reward for work put in, it simply is what you deserve.  I want that for you because I have been on the other side of joy, of love, and of accepting well-being as my birthright.  I’ve felt lost, lonely, stuck, depressed, sad, angry, anxiety ridden, resentful, worthless and unworthy, hopeless, needy, confused, adrift.  I’ve felt ready to end it all, questioning why I’m even here, knowing the people I loved would be better off without me.  I’ve wondered what’s wrong with me, why good things never come my way, what the point of it all really was, why the universe and life hated me.  I’ve gotten so low that I craved any escape I could get, any attention that would make me feel not so very alone, any relief from the suffering.  I’ve experienced that guilt that comes from feeling so horrible when I know it could be worse.  And all of those feelings, those thoughts, those experiences are devastating.  They leave you floundering and alone and desperate.  I know that pain.

But I also know that it’s possible to come back from that.  I know it’s possible to do a 180 and experience true joy.  I’ve made that journey.  I’ve felt those highs.  I know what it’s like to love your life, to have joy every day, to be excited by the future, to enjoy the ride.  I know what it’s like to learn how to love unconditionally, to nurture the relationship with self so you can’t do anything but cherish your life.  I know what it’s like to finally uncover your passions and your purpose.  I’ve been at rock bottom and I’ve climbed back up.  I know what emotional freedom feels like.  And there is nothing, NOTHING, I want more than for you than to have that too.  In sharing my journey, I inspired others and the sheer joy and almost maternal-esque love and pride for them I’d feel when they started shifting their perspective and loving their life, and coping with their troubles in a positive way, lit a spark in me that can never be extinguished.  Not because I did anything for them, but because I just offered up a different perspective that allowed them to do it themselves.  It’s become my purpose and my calling because every single person deserves that, especially you.
 
No Such Thing As Perfect
You know what you deserve, you know what I want for you, and you even know why I want it for you now.  But let me tell you what else I want you to know about this journey that I am truly excited for you to take.  It isn’t easy street, it’s a voyage.  It’s healing, it’s brutal honesty with yourself, it’s discovery, it’s trial and error, it’s trying things on for size, it’s opening your mind and your heart to unthinkable possibilities, it’s awakening, it’s remembering things you never even knew you had forgotten.  It’s not linear.  It’s backwards and forwards, it’s up and down, it’s highs and lows.  It’s eye-opening, awe inspiring, jaw dropping, heart wrenching, mystifying, clarifying, and wonderful.  It’s unearthing your authentic self, discovering your best version, and raising your vibrations to the highest level.  It’s work, but it is the most rewarding work you’ll ever experience.

I’m not offering you paradise or nirvana or heaven on earth.  I’m inviting you to love your life.  And let me tell you my beautiful friend, life is real.  I’m not an eternal optimist telling you every day is absolutely fabulous all the time.  Sorry, that’s bullshit.  It’s not.  Shit happens, life can hurt, you have no control over anything but yourself and you’re on a spinning rock with millions upon millions of other people who are helping co-create this reality.  BUT, and it’s a big BUT, you can have joy in every day, even on the “bad”days.  You can find tools that will allow you to communicate compassionately, respond instead of react, thoughtfully observe, gracefully handle stress, nurture your love of self (and others), and bounce back from the unexpected far faster than you’ve ever thought possible.  You can discover ways to shift your mindset so that the bad doesn’t seem quite as bad, the scary as nothing to truly fear, and the future as something to eagerly anticipate instead of dread.  You can enjoy your life, all of it.
 
I Believe In You
I want all of that for you!  Not only do I want it for you, but I know it’s possible.  You absolutely can have that.  And while this is about you it must be said, I know you can have that because I have it.  If you can take a depressed, anxiety ridden, suicidal woman and turn her into a beacon of joy and hope and excitement then it can happen again.  And you can be the person it can happen to.  That’s what I want for you!  And if you don’t know how to do it alone (another spoiler alert, most people don’t) then reach out for help.  If you ask me, I will give you support, a safe space to be you, encouragement, and 100% faith in the fact that I know you can do it.  I will give you all the tools and tricks and tips I have at my disposal so you can find your joy even faster than I did! Because you don’t have to suffer and barely survive life anymore.  And you absolutely don’t have to take your journey to joyful alone.  I mean, if we hire tour guides why not hire a guide for journeys of personal transformation and inner growth?  No matter what, you deserve the world.  If you choose me to help you get it, I would be honored.  And if you don’t, I’m still going to cheer you on and believe in your inevitable success.  That’s just what I do because we both deserve it.

If you want to find out more about how coaching can help you reach out here. If you want to try it alone first but would like some inspiration and general guidance, Try my 10-Minute Mini MasterClass on releasing your blocks to happiness.  If you just want a little bit of motivation and positivity, follow me on TikTok or Instagram.

You Need a Book List
One of the things that helped me the most on my journey to joyful was reading.  Yep.  I devoured book after book after book.  Then I slid into my Master of Wisdom & Meditation Teacher Certification and with a title like that you just know there was a pretty heavy reading list.  The was required, suggested, and advanced lists.  From day one of my journey I devoured books on how to heal, manifestation, meditation, present moment, etc.  Then I kicked it up a notch and started learning about Buddhism and Yoga and vibrating higher.  It was food for my mind and soul, and I loved it.  This might sound like a not so humble brag, but I promise it isn’t and I actually have a point in all this.  If you decide to start (or continue) your journey to joyful you need a book list.  Yes, finding a coach you love to support you through your journey and inspire different viewpoints is an amazing thing (btw if that sounds like something you want let’s chat about how I can be that for you)!  But diving into the wisdom of others who have been on their journey and want to share what they’ve learned can be a powerful tool that you’d be silly not to take advantage of.

It doesn’t matter what level your love for reading is at, there’s a way to get through a book.  I have one client who loves to read but uses audible for all of her self-help, spiritual, and metaphysical books.  A different client only uses audible.  Another will download them on kindle.  Yet another will only read a physical copy.  I personally devour fiction on kindle but prefer having a physical copy of all of my spiritual/metaphysical books.  There’s a way to get the knowledge without having to force yourself through it.  And doing it in small doses counts!!!  One of my aforementioned clients starts her day with 10 to 15 minutes of non-fiction reading.  If she feels inspired later on, she’ll read some more but she’s set up that time as part of her morning ritual and loves the insight and clarity it brings her.  Some people will be loathe to put a book down regardless of how long it takes them (guilty cough) and that’s ok too.  There is no right or wrong way to make reading a part of your journey as long as you do it.
 
But Why?
Still not sold yet?  Let’s try this on for size.  Say you’re my client and we’re working together to uncover and release any blocks to joy that you have.  During our one-on-one sessions I coach you, but on occasion I’ll put on my meditation teacher or infinite possibilities trainer cap to offer some insight or a helpful tool for you to use.  Let’s say one of those tools I use really helps you and you’re so intrigued you want to know more about it.  You could pay my fee for an extra session where the focus is all about that thing, OR you could dive into a book or two or three and find out all you can about this awesome modality you’re so interested in and do it at your own pace.  Chances are I’ll even give you recommendations because as I so clearly mentioned before…I LOVE reading and I’ve read A LOT of books on everything I coach on.

You see, the books can be supplements to coaching but they can also be the coach.  There is a fountain of knowledge right there for the taking, all you have to do is reach for it.  So many people have gone through their own journeys of enlightenment, of awakening, of growth.  They have searched for purpose, for meaning, for joy.  And when they’ve found it or even started to find it, they’ve shared what they’ve learned because nobody who’s found success on their journey wants to gatekeep what they’ve discovered.  Anybody who’s truly transformed their life into one they love wants to shout it from the rooftops in hopes that it will help somebody else out who’s just starting, or even considering starting, their own journey.  Use that enthusiasm, use that wisdom, use that guidance!!  Level up your journey!  It’s like getting the insider local tips when you’re on a trip.  You get to find all the best spots and it makes the trip that much better.
 
If you Like It Keep It
So, how will you know if what you’re reading is true?  This shouldn’t be a concern for you.  As long as you cultivate and trust your intuition you’ll know if what’s being shared is bullshit or not.  There’s this inner ding (any Louise Hay fans out there?) that let’s you know when something is right and true.  And there’s this discomforting inner blaring alarm (that’s all me) that will let you know when somebody is talking just for the sake of talking.  It’s this innate knowing.  So, while you read and discover something you like you keep it and tuck it into your knowledge base, but if you don’t like something then you simply throw it back.  There’s no pressure to accept everything you read. 

Also remember, sometimes you’ll realize that maybe something you’ve read before doesn’t fit any longer.  Don’t worry about it, don’t let it confuse you.  Simply put, on your journey your perspective will shift.  It wasn’t that what you read before was wrong per se, it was exactly what you needed then at that point in your journey.  But now you’ve come further down your path and your perspective has expanded and shifted.  You’ve grown and changed and what was so important to you, so necessary to your growth then is no longer necessary.  I mean, you’re not going to judge yourself if you change up your fashion style, right?  What worked for you then, it just doesn’t fit in with your life anymore. You’re ready to level up your wardrobe to fit the life you have now.  I know, I know, it sounds like a simplified analogy, but it really is the same. 
 
A Rose By Any Other Name…
Here’s another thing to keep in mind, you will find “truths” that sound like they’re different or conflicting at first glance but are actually universal.  I remember reading something and loving it, only to then read something else that I loved that didn’t seem to fit with what that previous author said.  It was a different perspective and I liked them both but thought, well if they’re saying different things what am I supposed to do with that?  But the more I read the more I realized there are underlying themes, universal truths.  Sure, these authors have a different way of saying them, because even different spiritual beliefs have different names for things, but a rose by any other name is still a rose.  They may be looking at the rose through different colored lenses but when you take a step back you see that they’re all still talking about a rose. 

It can actually be fun, spotting these fundamental truths and themes that keep popping up.  You get to have these little aha! moments where you realize that Buddha saying this is just like Abraham saying that and they actually do fit together after all!  And before you know it these truths settle them into you and they become a part of you.  Something that you inherently know as opposed to being just a theory that you learned.  It nestles in and becomes a part of how you flow through life.  Every once in a while you’ll fondly recall when you first learned about it and chuckle at how it’s become such an innate part of you.  You’ll smile when you see somebody else who has it figured out too and feel a sort of kinship with them even if you never speak.  It’s a comfort, and to think it all came from a book!
 
So What I’m Saying Is…
Start a reading list!  There’s no time like the present to add books to your list.  Did you hear about a book that piqued your interest, put it on your list.  Do you keep seeing that one author pop up everywhere you look, put their books on your list.  Did your amazing Transformation and Empowerment Coach lovingly recommend a book that she thinks will serve you, put it on your list!  Then dive in and start reading.  Shift your perspective, expand your knowledge, level up, awaken parts of you that feel like you’re remembering not learning.  And if you have no clue where to start, please message me!  I have many, many books to share on a vast array of topics.  These were some of the most profound books on the early part of my journey and I share more over on IG and TT on occasion.

I Can’t Help But Think Why?
I have a friend who has spent the week so far being incredibly sad, and she can’t pinpoint why.  And honestly, when that happens I want to wave a magic wand around make the sadness disappear.  But as much as I wish I could, I can’t. Because the only person who can make you feel better is you.  I can tell you until the cows come home what to do.  I can give you all the steps you can take to make yourself feel better, to reclaim your power and your joy, but you have to choose it.  Yep, I say this all the time, but it really is so true.  If I teach you one thing and only one thing it’s that you are in control, you have all the power, and you have to choose how you feel.  Which isn’t to say that you can instantaneously go from feeling sad/depressed/angry/fearful/etc to happy and joyful.  But there is so much power in the choice, in the decision, that pretty soon you won’t feel that way anymore.  It’s how I got here, to a place where I get to share my knowledge with you in hopes it inspires your journey.

If you’ve been with me since the beginning of my journey, back in the days before I ever possessed a single certification, you’ll remember that my journey started with a choice.  A choice to no longer live a life I wanted to escape and to instead live a life of joyful abundance.  And while I didn’t have it immediately upon making the decision, I did notice the sexy synchronicity that started up.  Articles and opportunities falling into place, book recommendations and email offers for online challenges popping up.  Before long I was well on my way to everyday happiness, but it started with that one choice, with that one declaration to the universe that showed I was in control and I was choosing me.  And, spoiler alert, you get to do that on a lesser scale any time you’re feeling down and it will work exactly the same way.
 
You Get to Choose
This is what I’ve told my friend, but she is choosing to focus on her pain as opposed to the joy and happiness that is hers for the taking.  And I don’t for a minute judge her because we are human, and we have become conditioned to look at what is and place all our focus on it.  I mentioned last week, when I was coming out of my own bout of being knocked off center, that while you focus on your problem you’ll never find your solution.  It is so tempting to reply to that with, “But that’s what’s happening, that’s how I feel!”.  I get you, it’s there, it’s real, you’re feeling it, and it’s ok.  However, you already know it’s there.  You can’t escape it (though I used to give it the old college try by any means possible).  It is there, so what’s the point of focusing on it, of telling yourself it’s there, of putting all your energy on that problem?  I promise you, the sadness, the pain, the misery…they don’t need your help.  They have plenty of momentum so why give them more?  Why not slow that momentum down? 

You choosing to be happy is the first step in slowing down that momentum.  You shifting your focus towards a solution is how you start building the momentum in the opposite direction.  You already know what you don’t want.  It’s there.  Now focus on what you do want.  And do me a HUGE favor, don’t make your focus be on what you don’t want.  Because then your focus is still on the problem.  In my friend’s situation it isn’t “I don’t want to be sad anymore” but instead it’s “I want joy and happiness”.  Then once you know what you want choose it.  I’m a big fan of a loud and proud declaration to the universe.  I shouted mine to the sky and felt it in every fiber of my being and that’s exactly what I want you to do.  That choice is the first and most pivotal part of taking back your power.  Because you can’t get to your end result while choosing to wallow in your current position. 
 
Don’t Worry About How
You’ll need to remember something else too, you don’t have to know how you’ll get there.  You don’t need all the components neatly lined up in a row or on a list.  That part doesn’t matter, the how doesn’t matter right now.  It’s the choice that matters.  A choice and some trust.  And I know that trust can be terrifying to even contemplate but you made the choice and the universe heard you.  You shifted something on a fundamental level so irrevocably in your favor that your success is now inevitable.  I’m going to give you a mantra I used for myself (and still do to this day).  Because we like our proof before we trust things and we need to knock that off because we’ll always find proof of what our focus is on, not the end result.  Ready for it?  I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I know that I AM going to do it.  Personalize that for yourself, for your current situation.  In my friend’s case it could be “I’m going to be happy, I don’t know how I’m going to be happy but I AM going to be happy”.  I did that with depression, and your girl has not had a moment of depression since the day I made my choice. (A little social proof for those struggling with trust because I get it.)

There are going to be moments where you think it isn’t possible, especially in the beginning.  It’s in those moments you need to repeat that mantra.  Firm up that trust.  Because you made the choice and the trust is underlying it.  Firming it up and making it a stronger choice.  Let’s face it, does it really matter how you do the thing if you get to the end result you’re seeking?  I can promise you that the temporary Band-Aids won’t work.  The escape mechanisms will start to feel empty.  So you don’t have to worry about doing it the wrong way.  You have an inner guidance system that has no problem letting you know if you’re doing the wrong thing.  It makes it easier to have that trust too.  You start listening to your gut, to your intuition.  You start gauging if what you’re doing feels right.  And the more you’re doing the right thing for you, the more excited you get and suddenly it becomes effortless.  All because you made that choice and trusted in it.
 
That’s It, That’s All
So, if you want some more proactive things you can do, go back and read last week’s post.  I’ve got steps for you.  If you want someone by your side helping you and supporting you because it feels a little too overwhelming to do it on your own…honey I’m a transformation and empowerment coach and that is EXACTLY what I do!  And if all you want is a little inspiration and motivation along the way, go follow me on IG and/or TT, I got you.  You deserve to be happy.  Well-being is your birthright! But in order for it to flow to you, you have to choose it first.  You are where you are, now it’s time to choose where you want to be. 

Let’s Face It
There will be times in your life when you are feeling less than stellar.  Yes, in a perfect world you understand everything is just temporary and it’ll be over before you know it.  But there’s no such thing as perfection, we’re human.  And honestly, our imperfections are what keep things interesting.  That being said, man can it get frustrating when things are blowing up left and right.  I’ve had a week like that.  The banks are scared and dropping credit limits, my dog decided now was the perfect time to injure himself, and (men I apologize but it’s reality) shark week kicked off and boy howdy did the bitchy switch get flipped this go round.  Let’s just say, I have been less than impeccable with my words, actions, and thoughts.  But guess what, this is life.  We will go through periods of time like that until we’re no longer here.  So how can we cope?
 
Recognize It
Now you may see that heading and laugh, because you know when life’s going a bit sideways and contrast is doing it’s thing right?  Eh…maybe not so right.  Especially if you’re like me and have a pretty good system in place to stay pretty upbeat and balanced.  Sometimes it takes being in the thick of it before you realize that you’re a little (or a lot) off center.  Honestly it took me struggling through my day yesterday, like really struggling mentally and physically, before I recognized I needed to reel it back in.  And I like to think I’m a pretty observant person!  But nope, I had stopped observing and was just reacting. 

I want to tell you something important here, as long as you’re reacting you aren’t really in a place of power.  Your focus is on the problem(s) and that’s where all of your energy is going.  But the very second you can take a beat and step back to see that you’re kind of in the middle of it, you’ve offered up a pattern interrupt.  From that moment on your focus can be on the solution.  Now don’t get me twisted, the solution might not present itself in that very moment.  But it will eventually show up and knowing that you’re looking forward feels a hell of a lot better than simply trying to keep your head above water.
 
Solution Focused
The solution to your problem is going to depend entirely on your situation right?  Mostly yes.  But even if you can’t automatically think of something that seems like a good solution you can start switching your mindset.  You can start doing little things that bring you joy, that light you up inside, that make you smile.  Let’s face it, you’ve managed to handle 100% of the stuff you’ve experienced up to now, so we know this moment isn’t going to be any different.  Honestly, even typing that melts some of the tension out of my body.  Also, the universe is conspiring on your behalf, so solutions are going to present themselves as long as you’re open to them.  The trick is that first subtle observation combined with the mindset shift.  We stop being a victim and start realizing that we’re in the captain seat.  Sure, we may be in exploration mode, but we still get to be in charge.  We can still put ourselves in observation mode so that when a solution does present itself, even if it’s in stages, we’re ready for it.

In a situation where it feels like the world is out to get you, or everything bad is happening at once, or your body’s hormones are betraying you (ok that last one might have been specific to me) anything that gives us back our power is key.  We may not control the situation but we absolutely control our reaction to it.  So, we know that we’re maybe not being our best version, we know that we’ll get through it because we always do, and we know that in a moment we felt powerless we actually do have some power.  Now we can work on thinking the next best thought about the situation (because you can’t get to feeling ok about something when you’re in the middle of loathing it, but you can get to one stage better) and following our joy in small and easily digestible ways (because as exciting as escaping to Bora Bora may sound in the moment it’s a little impractical. 
 
Sprinkle Forgiveness In
Now this part may seem like it makes absolutely no sense, but I promise it does.  Forgive yourself, forgive everybody else involved, and release let go of judgment.  I think it’s probably easier at times to forgive others over yourself.  I know when I get caught up in one of these vicious little circles, I have a tendency to judge myself hard.  To blame myself for not being more aware, less fiery, and more zen.  Some of that is habitual energy left over from when I was a very cruel person to myself.  I know I have to work on it more, and I am.  But here’s the thing, I can’t change a damn thing about what’s happened up to this point because that’s in the past.  And at the end of the day, I wouldn’t be where I am now if that hadn’t happened.  The me that I am in the now is being kind, is observing rather than reacting, is owning her power, and is sharing her experience to help other people who are feeling like I was feeling.  That’s a pretty badass person and maybe it took a bit of contrast to get me there.  So I forgive myself, I’ll do better moving forward, and I won’t judge anything because look at me now.  Can you see how forgiveness is kinda helpful when you’re trying to crawl out of a slump? 
 
To Recap
We observe that we’re in a slump, we focus on the solution, shift our mindset, and we forgive ourselves for having gotten there in the first place.  Also, make self-care a priority!!!!  There are many many ways to do that, and I will happily give you a list if you need some inspiration.  When you’re making yourself, loving yourself, a priority you’re showing the universe that that’s what you want more of.  You’d be surprised how suddenly little things here and there improve, unexpected happy treats pop up, and your mood begins to improve pretty rapidly.  So, if you’re in a slump just remember.  It’ll be better soon, life isn’t out to get you, and maybe you just needed a little contrast to shake things up and make room for magnificence.

Have You Let Your Good Habit, Routine, or Practice Slide?
So, I let my morning routine fall by the wayside.  There could be numerous reasons that this happens.  Stress, excitement, a busy schedule.  The reasons behind it are numerous.  You skip your morning meditation and say oh I’ll find some time later and then something else pops up and before you know it a few weeks have passed and your morning routine feels like a distant memory.  You realize you’re a little left of center, you’re not as eager about your days.  Anxiety, frustration, and resentment creep up a bit more often.  It’s not even this grand aha! moment, just a subtle awareness that you’re not quite as on top of the world as you were before.  If it sounds like I get it, it’s because I do.  This just happened to me.  (if you follow me on TikTok or Instagram you know)

In my case, this time, it was excitement about a project I’m working on mixed with a busy time of year for my wine industry work.  I realized it had been weeks since I had meditated, set my intention for the day, pulled a morning card or journaled.  It felt like something had been missing and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until I did. When I realized that the unsettled, anxious, frustrated feelings I had been having correlated with the amount of time I had let my morning routine fall off I knew it was time to get started again.  The funny thing was my morning routine would have set me up for success with all my work so I’m not even sure why I slacked off.  And it was so tempting to judge myself for it.  SO TEMPTING.  But I caught myself and jumped right back into those great habits.  The effects were instantaneous and since then I’ve felt jubilant.
 
Why Do We Give Up On Stuff That Makes Us Feel Good?
For me it was my morning routine, but this honestly holds true for any good habit, routine, or practice that you have.  It could be exercising, or quality time with your loved ones, date night, volunteering, and the list goes on.  It’s so funny to me that we’ll cling to the stuff that doesn’t serve us but are so quick to let the good stuff fall by the wayside.  And I have a sneaking suspicion that part of that is because our good stuff is inherently “selfish”.  It makes us feel good but doesn’t yield a tangible output.  So, when we do the thing, it doesn’t feel like work.  It feels frivolous and self-indulgent and like we’re not taking enough action.  Especially in the case of the things I do (and recommend doing) in a morning routine.  As humans we feel like we have to work for and earn everything good that comes our way.  We treat the good stuff as a reward for hard work and diligent effort.  When that’s not actually how life works, contrary to what we’ve been taught to believe.

Take this project I’m working on (that I’m super excited about and can’t wait to share it with you all).  I felt like if I buckled down, gave myself a deadline to reach certain goals, and really went at it then clearly I was putting in the hard work that would produce results.  Honestly, nothing could have been further from the truth.  I’m creating a course for people who want to feel joy in their life, either again or for the very first time.  I want to make sure everybody knows that well-being is your birthright and if you let it flow to you it can be instantaneous.  That it really is that simple to tap into your joy.  And there I was forcing it.  Totally wrong energy to be putting into a project that means so much to me.  But I see why I was doing what I was doing, I see why I let the “frivolous” stuff fall off.  Because I have years (honestly generations) of programming that says you have to work hard for what you want.  That nothing worth having comes easy.  The habit energy of putting everything else above my mental health and well-being kicked in.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, habit energies are sneaky little bitches that can be really hard to recognize.  But when you do recognize them, oh the sense of freedom!
 
The Quick & Easy Fix
Ok so what can we do if we realize we let our good habits and routines fizzle out?  First, remember why you did those things in the first place.  I mean, the number one reason is that they made you feel good right?  You felt joy in the doing of those things and in the lingering effects from doing those things.  Make a list of those reasons, write them down.  (For those of you who know me, and my love of lists, quit laughing at me they work!)  Next, take stock of how you felt while you weren’t doing those things.  But don’t judge yourself when you’re examining everything.  Get clinical, get curious, be honest, but don’t judge.  We’re human, not perfect.  And everything we do gets us to where we are now.  And if where you are now is wanting to feel your best, to be happy, to live a joyful life…well that’s a pretty good place to be no?  Finally, remember that every single second of every single day is an opportunity to start fresh.  It’s tempting to say, oh I’ll start back up on Monday.  But why wait?  Pick that good stuff, the stuff that feels frivolous, the stuff that feels like it might even be a “waste of time”, right back up.

If it still feels difficult to you to dive back into that good stuff consider this… anything you do when you aren’t at your best isn’t going to yield the kind of results you’re looking for.  When you’re vibrating high and being your best version things click.  Think about it, when you’ve felt really on your game how does everything pan out for you?  Your loved ones feel truly loved and appreciated, your work is top notch, your health is vibrant, and everything seems to fall into place, right?  Now look back at a time when you weren’t embracing those good habits and routines.  How were your relationships?  Did you feel motivated?  What was the quality of your work?  Was your health great?  How about your mental health?  Were your emotions stable?  If you aren’t making yourself a priority, making sure that you’re at 100%, then everything else is getting less than your best.  And does it ever feel good when you know you just phoned something in?  That you were there but not present?  I don’t love that feeling so I’m guessing you don’t either.
 
Less Than Your Best Doesn’t Always = Bad
I want to make something crystal clear so I’m going to use my recent situation to help make my point.  Step One, the why.  So why did I have my morning routine? Well, it lets me know I love myself, I value myself enough to start my day deliberately, it helps me feel aligned with source, it amps up my joy, and motivates me to make the day my best day ever.  I can list tons more reasons but for the sake of not going on too long on to Step Two.  How did I feel when I wasn’t doing it?  I slogged through my day, I felt like there wasn’t enough time, I didn’t have focus, I experienced anxiety symptoms frequently, I got really ill, and my temper was quick to flare at slight inconveniences that honestly didn’t matter.  So, the second I realized I missed my meditating and setting intentions and journaling and all that good stuff I dove right back in that second (aka Step Three).  I didn’t wait until the next morning, I sat down and meditated right then. 

Here's that point I wanted to make though, I was never unhappy in all that time.  Sure, I had stress, and my motivation was lacking, my emotions were a bit heightened, but at no time did I ever feel upset or sad.  In fact, I had moments of awesome joy and productivity.  That’s because overall I’ve gotten myself to this wonderful place and I’m just not capable of feeling as unhappy as I was, which is the beautiful part of transformation, but I digress.  You don’t have to feel bad or sad or depressed to still have “negative” effects from giving up stuff that brings you joy.  It boils down to being a past version of you, one that isn’t vibrating high, one that isn’t focused on your highest good.  It doesn’t have to be a bad version to not be your best version.  And you absolutely, 100%, deserve to be your best version.  To feel the joy that comes along with allowing your authentic self to shine through all that you do.  So pick that habit back up, dive back into your routine.  It’s time to shine baby, it’s time to shine.  And if you don’t know what your best version is try giving LBL Week a shot!

​The Birthday Conundrum
I had a client recently who was stressed to the max about her upcoming birthday.  She kept wavering back and forth between ideas of what she should do.  She had years and years of conditioning that told her she needed to have a party, it had to have a theme, and she had to be in charge of making sure all her guests were fed and happy.  And every time she’d start to think about it, she’d cry.  There was nothing about the idea of having that kind of celebration that brought her joy, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that that’s what she should be doing.  Well, I asked her what would happen if she didn’t do that.  If she scaled it way back and kept it simple.  Before any ideas started flowing you could see the weight come off her shoulders and the light come back into her eyes.  It was as if she needed permission to do her birthday in a way that felt good for her and her only. 

She had an amazing birthday, in fact she managed to stretch it into a whole birthday weekend.  It was filled with little moments here and there that excited her.  She keeps trying to give me the credit, telling me it wouldn’t have happened without me, but I can’t accept that.  I just asked her what would happen if she didn’t do what she thought she should and instead did what she wanted.  The rest was all her.  She’s the one who absolutely owned celebrating her birthday in ways that brought joy to her.  She’s the one who decided nothing was going to bring her down because it wasn’t about anybody else but how she viewed it.  And in doing so, she came alive and had a magical weekend full of planned and impromptu moments that lit her up inside.  So, I have to ask you, what do you need to give yourself permission to do?
 
What If?
We humans have somehow conditioned ourselves to seek permission and guidance on how we should live our lives.  But here’s the thing, if you’re using the word should, it’s not the word want.  In fact, it’s usually the opposite.  When I say or hear the words “I should” there’s this implied guilt as if the sentence that's really coming out is “I really don’t want to but society/family/friends/religion/social media/ etc. says that’s the right way to do it”.  Is there anything more burdensome than that?  Where’s the joy?  The freedom of choice?  The inspiration?  The fun?  “I should” feels like you’re donning the heavy mantle of responsibility or conformity.  But here’s the thing, we’re all unique individuals so why would somebody else’s way be the right way for you?  Did you live an identical life with identical trials and tribulations?  Were your challenges and struggles the same as theirs?  Was each and every success in your life a mirror of theirs?  I highly doubt it.  Not that there aren’t similarities,  you can have some pretty close parallels in life, but your life is not theirs, their way may not work for you, and vice versa.  

Point being, can we maybe stop with the “I should” and start embracing the “What if”?  What if I tried it but did it my way?  What if I did something totally different?  That’s how LBL Week came about, and the amazing results I’ve seen from that are proof that doing something in a way that feels good to you, instead of how everybody else says it should be done, is a pretty amazing way to do life.  And yes, that even means following my advice or guidance.  Honestly that’s why I love being a coach, I’m asking you questions that make you look at living your life in a way that works for your unique set of circumstances and personality traits and tastes.  I can advise til the cows come home, but my favorite thing to do is ask a question that wakes you up and gets you excited to try something your way.  Let’s throw off the burden of should and start living life through the lens of what if!
 
Still Need it?
Ok my little permission goblin, still craving the acceptance and “rightness” that comes with permission?  That’s understandable.  Not everybody can be a "forgiveness instead of permission" person, at least not right off the bat.  I’m going to ask you a question that might leave you feeling off kilter here.  What if you were the person you started to get permission from?  It’s your life, your happiness, your gut instinct telling you what is right for you.  So why are you asking for anybody else’s permission?  If that sounds scary to you let me put it this way.  If you’re worried that somebody in your life won’t like you, love you, approve of your choice, respect you, etc... are they really somebody that you want in your life?  Is their approval really necessary?  They don’t have to experience your emotions and feelings, so why do they get a say?  The people who truly love you unconditionally, the ones you want in your front row, they’ll support you no matter what.  They may not understand you, heck they may even have doubts, but if they love you, they will 100% support you. 

I know that’s scary to think about.  Because there’s likely somebody in your life that won’t, and the thought of losing them is terrifying.  But there’s probably somebody else you can think of that absolutely will, and thinking of that support feels great.  Which one feels better, and which one do you want more of?  And guess what…the person who will support you…you don’t even crave their permission you're just excited to share your ideas with them.  And maybe that’s what it’s about.  Maybe what your craving isn’t permission so much as support.  So YOU be the person that gives you permission and let your front row peeps be the ones to give you support.  Don’t worry they’ll support you win or lose, achieve or fail. 
 
Permission Granted
Once you start giving yourself the permission granter status for a while, you’ll suddenly realize how free you feel.  You’ll be living life on your terms.  It might seem like that’s a lot of pressure but along with giving yourself permission, you can also grant yourself forgiveness.  You can also be your biggest cheerleader, that’s my favorite part.   So, celebrate your birthday the way you want to, not the way you think you should.  Try the career change that has been calling you, don’t stay in the job you think you should.  Ask out that sexy crush now, don’t wait until they notice you first. Love yourself, love your life and do you baby!!  And if things get scary, ask for help.  There’s no reason to do it alone, after all you have that amazing front row and if you can’t think of anybody who should be there…you have me.  I believe in you and just in case you still need it…consider this your permission to start giving yourself permission.  Want some more reminders, follow me on IG and TT.  Want some one on one support, inspiration, and cheerleading shoot me an email and let’s do this.

It Might Be Controversial But…
I recently made a post on my social media accounts that resonated with some and annoyed others (if you don’t already, follow me on IG & TT because I share some golden nuggets and each channel has mostly different content).  I said that you can’t just want to change, you have to choose to change or it won’t last.  This is actually a hill I’ll die on.  Why?  Because I’ve been in both shoes.  I’ve had clients in both shoes.  It may be a subtle difference, but there is definitely a difference.  It’s a difference in mindset, a difference in perspective, and a difference in buy in.  You can want to change until the cows come home, you may even try to change, but any change you try to make won’t last until you’ve made that choice.  It’s a whole different point of attraction.

I promise you, I absolutely know what I’m talking about.  Before I made that powerful choice to live a life of joy, a life I no longer wanted to escape, I would try to implement changes in my life, but they never lasted.  I’d try eating this way, or exercising that way, or reading this book and adopting those principles. But underneath it all I hadn’t actually chosen to change my life, I just wanted to.  The moment I made that choice to change my life into one I loved, I felt it in my whole body.  I KNEW my life was going to change.  I knew it with the same certainty I know my name or that I know I need oxygen to breathe.  I didn’t know how it would change, I had no clue what that would look like, I just knew it to the depths of my soul that it would.  And, shocker, oh boy did it! 
 
Try it Before You Buy It
Now let’s not paint a picture that isn’t true here.  Not everything I tried on for size fit me, and some things I didn’t expect to fit did.  Because when you decide to change your life in a big way (and choosing joy after not having it for so long is a pretty epic change my friend) you’re going to fumble along a bit.  Nobody gives you a guidebook and map on how exactly to get there.  (I mean, except me.  Remember, that’s kinda exactly what I do.)  But even then, you’re going to try things on for size, see how they land see if it feels right.  Some will, some won't.  Changing your life is a journey, it’s the journey to joyful.  And, lucky for us on, that journey we get to try before we buy.  The point here is that we’re excited about what we’re trying, we’ve got an open mind, and we know it’s going to let our authentic selves out for the first time in possibly ever.

When we’ve made that choice we’re attracting the things to us that will help us change and grow.  Not all the changes will last, but you better bet that a bunch of them will.  And sure, you’ll slip and stumble, maybe even fall down, but you won’t go backwards.  Because you’ve decided to change, and the moment you did that something fundamental inside of you did change. You changed your point of attraction so that you’d find the changes that work for you, the ones that absolutely will last.  Or, at the very least, the ones you’d try on for size to help clarify your vision and understanding of the person you want to be, of what brings you joy.  It’s that choice that has the transformative power, and momentum behind it, that you’ve been craving.
 
So What If You Don’t Make That Choice?
I have had clients that I’ve worked with who come to me because they want to enjoy their life.  They know life, as is, isn’t working for them.  They’re surviving, but they don’t love life and they definitely aren’t thriving.  In our work together they will even have some pretty awesome breakthroughs and perspective shifts.  Because let’s face it, if you’ve chosen to come to me the desire to change your life is pretty strong within you.  They’ll be happy for a bit, think they have a handle on things, and go their own way deciding they no longer need my services.  But then, they slowly slide back into the habits, behaviors, and thought patterns that didn’t serve them in the first place.  The change they experienced didn’t last, and not because they were no longer working with me, but because they never chose change in the first place.  They just wanted it. 

Let me be clear, the clients I’ve worked with that didn’t just want to change but chose change, and got to a place where they feel they could go it alone, they are thriving.  Here’s a secret, your coach isn’t the one who makes thriving in life possible.  Nope it was that choice you made to change that did it.  I just give you a safe space and some inspiration to figure out what that change looks like for you.  The sweet souls that slid back into old habits and patterns, they never made that choice, never felt that internal click that comes with aligning with choosing joy.  That moment still may come, they’re closer now than they were before, it’s right there for the taking.  But, to answer a question somebody asked in a live not to long ago, what happens if you know you should change but don’t want to... nothing.  Or at least nothing significant.  You have to buy into the changes and do it because you know you’re ready, otherwise they simply won’t last.
 
But Change is Scary!
Like I’ve said, you have to make that choice.  You have to choose a life of joy, and prioritizing your wellness.  Because if you don’t, you may want it but you’re still chasing it.  You’re sticking to the comfortably familiar, even if it doesn’t serve you, because radically changing your life is scary AF.  And let me tell you, when you make this choice your life will change drastically, but it’s actually not as scary as you think.  The universe knows exactly what needs to happen and when.  It’s not going to pop up and say hey, jump up to the top of that 10,000 foot mountain right this second.  Nope, it’s going to show you a path that takes you 100 feet where you get to rest until you catch your breath, then it’ll show you a path that takes you the next 100 feet, then the next 50, then the next 500, and so on and so on.  And with every change in elevation you’ve changed on a fundamental level, you won’t go back. 

And you’ll have moments where you’re scared shitless that you will slide back down, but you won’t.  Will you be perfect and never experience lows, or pains, or old habits…no…no you definitely won’t.  Because you’re human.  Will you never take a detour because a squirrel caught your attention…no…no you won’t because…that’s right you’re human.  But you’ve made the choice and you can’t help but continue up because that’s what you told the universe you wanted.  And all of a sudden, a little ways along your journey, you realize that you’re having fun just taking the journey.  You know you aren’t at the top yet, but you’re enjoying the getting there.  You’ll realize that joy isn’t at your final destination, but something that’s available to you right now while you’re on your journey.
 
Final Destination
If you haven’t made the choice to actually start the journey, if you don’t have that end result, that mountain top, as a set destination... you’ll just keep wandering around lost and not as happy as you could be because you’re wandering aimlessly.  Sure, you might have some fun along the way, but you always come back to recognizing that you’re right back where you started.  So you have to make that choice, you have to have your ultimate destination in mind.  You have to decide that you ARE changing.  I promise you, once you do life becomes magical and all the changes that you make have a very lasting effect.  So, have you made your choice?  If you haven’t but you’re close, I guarantee the moment you do you’ll feel that rightness click into place.  And if you want help navigating from there, I got you.