I Have This Friend…

I Can’t Help But Think Why?
I have a friend who has spent the week so far being incredibly sad, and she can’t pinpoint why.  And honestly, when that happens I want to wave a magic wand around make the sadness disappear.  But as much as I wish I could, I can’t. Because the only person who can make you feel better is you.  I can tell you until the cows come home what to do.  I can give you all the steps you can take to make yourself feel better, to reclaim your power and your joy, but you have to choose it.  Yep, I say this all the time, but it really is so true.  If I teach you one thing and only one thing it’s that you are in control, you have all the power, and you have to choose how you feel.  Which isn’t to say that you can instantaneously go from feeling sad/depressed/angry/fearful/etc to happy and joyful.  But there is so much power in the choice, in the decision, that pretty soon you won’t feel that way anymore.  It’s how I got here, to a place where I get to share my knowledge with you in hopes it inspires your journey.

If you’ve been with me since the beginning of my journey, back in the days before I ever possessed a single certification, you’ll remember that my journey started with a choice.  A choice to no longer live a life I wanted to escape and to instead live a life of joyful abundance.  And while I didn’t have it immediately upon making the decision, I did notice the sexy synchronicity that started up.  Articles and opportunities falling into place, book recommendations and email offers for online challenges popping up.  Before long I was well on my way to everyday happiness, but it started with that one choice, with that one declaration to the universe that showed I was in control and I was choosing me.  And, spoiler alert, you get to do that on a lesser scale any time you’re feeling down and it will work exactly the same way.
 
You Get to Choose
This is what I’ve told my friend, but she is choosing to focus on her pain as opposed to the joy and happiness that is hers for the taking.  And I don’t for a minute judge her because we are human, and we have become conditioned to look at what is and place all our focus on it.  I mentioned last week, when I was coming out of my own bout of being knocked off center, that while you focus on your problem you’ll never find your solution.  It is so tempting to reply to that with, “But that’s what’s happening, that’s how I feel!”.  I get you, it’s there, it’s real, you’re feeling it, and it’s ok.  However, you already know it’s there.  You can’t escape it (though I used to give it the old college try by any means possible).  It is there, so what’s the point of focusing on it, of telling yourself it’s there, of putting all your energy on that problem?  I promise you, the sadness, the pain, the misery…they don’t need your help.  They have plenty of momentum so why give them more?  Why not slow that momentum down? 

You choosing to be happy is the first step in slowing down that momentum.  You shifting your focus towards a solution is how you start building the momentum in the opposite direction.  You already know what you don’t want.  It’s there.  Now focus on what you do want.  And do me a HUGE favor, don’t make your focus be on what you don’t want.  Because then your focus is still on the problem.  In my friend’s situation it isn’t “I don’t want to be sad anymore” but instead it’s “I want joy and happiness”.  Then once you know what you want choose it.  I’m a big fan of a loud and proud declaration to the universe.  I shouted mine to the sky and felt it in every fiber of my being and that’s exactly what I want you to do.  That choice is the first and most pivotal part of taking back your power.  Because you can’t get to your end result while choosing to wallow in your current position. 
 
Don’t Worry About How
You’ll need to remember something else too, you don’t have to know how you’ll get there.  You don’t need all the components neatly lined up in a row or on a list.  That part doesn’t matter, the how doesn’t matter right now.  It’s the choice that matters.  A choice and some trust.  And I know that trust can be terrifying to even contemplate but you made the choice and the universe heard you.  You shifted something on a fundamental level so irrevocably in your favor that your success is now inevitable.  I’m going to give you a mantra I used for myself (and still do to this day).  Because we like our proof before we trust things and we need to knock that off because we’ll always find proof of what our focus is on, not the end result.  Ready for it?  I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I know that I AM going to do it.  Personalize that for yourself, for your current situation.  In my friend’s case it could be “I’m going to be happy, I don’t know how I’m going to be happy but I AM going to be happy”.  I did that with depression, and your girl has not had a moment of depression since the day I made my choice. (A little social proof for those struggling with trust because I get it.)

There are going to be moments where you think it isn’t possible, especially in the beginning.  It’s in those moments you need to repeat that mantra.  Firm up that trust.  Because you made the choice and the trust is underlying it.  Firming it up and making it a stronger choice.  Let’s face it, does it really matter how you do the thing if you get to the end result you’re seeking?  I can promise you that the temporary Band-Aids won’t work.  The escape mechanisms will start to feel empty.  So you don’t have to worry about doing it the wrong way.  You have an inner guidance system that has no problem letting you know if you’re doing the wrong thing.  It makes it easier to have that trust too.  You start listening to your gut, to your intuition.  You start gauging if what you’re doing feels right.  And the more you’re doing the right thing for you, the more excited you get and suddenly it becomes effortless.  All because you made that choice and trusted in it.
 
That’s It, That’s All
So, if you want some more proactive things you can do, go back and read last week’s post.  I’ve got steps for you.  If you want someone by your side helping you and supporting you because it feels a little too overwhelming to do it on your own…honey I’m a transformation and empowerment coach and that is EXACTLY what I do!  And if all you want is a little inspiration and motivation along the way, go follow me on IG and/or TT, I got you.  You deserve to be happy.  Well-being is your birthright! But in order for it to flow to you, you have to choose it first.  You are where you are, now it’s time to choose where you want to be.