Freeing Shower Aha! Moments are Rad

I’m Finally Free
I don’t typically like to talk about the same thing two weeks in a row.  But I had a rather poignant realization last week that I think will be helpful to others in addition to myself.  It was an aha! moment that just clicked effortlessly into place.  Now, while it had to do with the breakup I mentioned last week, it can actually be applied to most areas of life.  So let me give you a little background then I’ll dive into the realization that I had and then we can play around with applying this mindset shift in other aspects of life.
 
 
The Background
In general, if you aren’t familiar with me, I am a person who doesn’t really jive with the victim/victor ego based mentality that most of us humans have.  I used to be that way, I was the epitome of a victim all you had to do was ask me to figure that out. (Insert wry wink here) But since deciding to change my life I no longer embrace that mindset.  I am in control, I get to make all the choices, even if it’s in how I respond to situations outside of my control, I still have control over my response.  It’s a lovely way to be and an empowering mindset.  But as you are about to find out, I’m not perfect and that victim mentality can still sneak in without you noticing it.
 
Enter me getting dumped the night before Thanksgiving by my boyfriend’s business partner.  Yes, that’s right, he couldn’t even be bothered to do it himself.  (Go ahead and scoff and sneer, I certainly won’t judge you for it.)  I promptly got drunk and went to sleep because I could not deal at that moment.  The next day I had about 15 minutes of being absolutely distraught followed by determination to chase my joy instead of wallow in my misery.  And since then, I’ve done pretty well but I still have my moments where I can’t quite make peace with it.  I honor my pain, bless him with love, and release him from my life only to have him pop back up in my mind making me feel icky all over again.  And while I get over these episodes fairly quickly, I couldn’t figure out why I kept having them.
 
 
The Realization
So, there I was showering the other morning listening to Abraham Hicks talk about manifesting a dream home.  (What you don’t do that? Insert another wink.)  Suddenly the fully formed realization popped into mind and I said out loud, “Holy Shit I get it!”.  So here we go, let’s give you the lead up to the grand realization.  I had been putting out to the universe for quite some time that I was perfectly happy with however the relationship went.  If it ended, I’d have an amazing partner next and if it stayed my guy would finally step up to the plate and be the partner I deserved.  Because I knew with 100% certainty I was deserving and worthy of a loving and happy relationship.  So if the universe would just help me figure out what it was I should do, that’d be nifty.  Well it did…but I wasn’t paying attention.
 
Ok to be fair I was, but I was avoiding the pain that came with the end of that relationship.  So the universe said cool, he’ll stop communicating with you.  I stayed in it.  It said, ok now he’ll never be around.  I stayed in it.  The universe said, he will meet absolutely none of the needs a romantic partner is supposed to meet.  I stayed in it.  So the universe said, here hold my beer you aren’t gonna miss this one.  And I got brutally dumped in such a way that I will never in a million years speak to let alone try to be with that man again.  Keep in mind, I was putting out the frequency of I am ready for and deserving of a happy relationship.  The universe said babe, it’s not gonna be with this guy and since you can’t quite let go on your own… you’re getting dumped.  Have you figured out what I did yet?
 
The Results
For the past few months I have felt like a victim.  I just didn’t recognize I was doing it.  I was a victim of his behavior, his cold heartedness, his…lack of self worth and emotional intelligence.  I didn’t proclaim myself as such, but somewhere underneath it all I had parked myself firmly in the victim camp.  Until this morning when I realized, I wasn’t the victim but the perpetrator.  In the best possible way!!!  I had vibrated at a level higher than that man was capable of matching.  I have gotten myself to an awesome place of attraction where good things are flowing my way.  I took my power back, I’ve owned it and celebrated it.  I live a joyful life.  So of course the universe isn’t gonna let me keep somebody like him around.  I deserve better.
 
And as of this morning I actually see it as the amazing manifestation of my desires that it was.  As my mom loves to say, you gotta get rid of the bullshit to make room for the magnificence.  And that’s exactly what I did.  When I tell you I have been giggling gleefully on and off all weekend I’m actually underselling it.  It’s funny because I knew the end of that relationship meant I was open for a much better one to flow in.  So I had half of the equation right.  But my perspective was one of a victim.  And the very second I shifted that perspective from victim to empowered bad ass boss bitch who cleared clutter to make room for the prize, ooh baby I came alive.
 
The End-ish
You’ll probably hear me say, “well you made it happen, that’s what you were putting out there” fairly often.  But here’s the thing, making it happen and taking the “blame” isn’t always a bad thing.  Just like I didn’t put out there “oh I wanna get dumped in a painful and heartbreaking way”.  No, what I put out there was I’m ready to have a relationship that matches my joyful energy.  One that fits the me I am now and is rewarding and fun.  Do you see the difference there?  In one perspective I’m a horrible person that brought it on myself, in the other scenario I’m an empowered human being making room for the magnificence.
 
That mindset shift, that subtle difference in perspective is a very powerful thing.  And I invite you to see if you can’t make that same shift the next time you find yourself stuck in a situation that makes you feel like you know you’re better than being stuck in, but can’t quite get beyond.  Two questions for you.  1- Am I unknowingly playing the victim here?  2- If I were to view this through the lens of the absolute certainty that it’s for my highest good, how does this serve me?  Those answers should be pretty helpful and before you know it you’ll be feeling just as footloose and fancy free as I am after that epic realization.
 
PS. This week I’m doing LBL Week and I figured next week’s blog I’ll recap all the things that happened.  I feel like sharing my results will be a fun way for you to see the effects of a mindset shift.  And I’m nothing if not honest so you’ll get my ups and downs.  Life ain’t perfect baby but it sure is grand!!  If you want to do LBL Week here’s the link for your FREE guide to set yourself up for success.