I Went Viral on TikTok... it wasn't fun!

Holy shit!  I did a trend on TT and never expected the response I got.  If you haven’t seen it there’s a trend on TT where you start with an aged filter and then remove it to show that you love how well you’re actually aging.  I woke up one morning, was scrolling through, and decided “that looks like fun I want to try!”  So, I did and posted it without giving it much thought.  What transpired afterwards ended up being a social experiment of sorts and honestly was a sad commentary on how people behave from behind the safety of their screens.

Ok, to be fair.  I had just woken up and ya girl looks about 70 years old at best first thing outta bed.  My eye bags turn into eye luggage, my wrinkles are on proud display, and I assume a general air of puffiness that would make the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man a little jealous.  Needless to say, I’m not at my best looking in the morning.  I also had light shining in my face that enhanced every imperfection.  So I fully own, I wasn’t at my best.  BUT I saw the difference when the filter lifted, and I was tickled by it.  I posted it in good faith thinking it would get my typical 200ish views with a few likes by my real-life friends and most devoted supporters.  (quick shout out to that last group, they rock and always make me feel so seen!)
 
So What Happened Was…
So that’s what I expected.  At last glance I had 140,000 views, 1,491 likes, and over 1,000 comments.  But here’s the thing, and it’s a BIG BUT, about 95% of those comments are people breaking a leg to get in there and tell me how bad I look.  And I have never been so glad in my life that I have put in work to learn how to love and appreciate myself.  That I know the source of my joy and my power isn’t in the hands of others but in my own...  Thank fucking God that I have thick skin and that shit rolled off me like water off a duck’s ass because man are people on the internet brutally mean!

Somebody commented that the comments are about to take over the likes at one point.  People were in such a hurry to tell me how bad they thought I looked, that comments almost overtook likes!  That never happens, at least not for a relatively tiny account like mine.  And honestly, I’m a little saddened and a little disgusted by humanity.  People are accusing me of wanting validation, of being vain, of needing compliments.  If I looked drop dead gorgeous after I dropped that filter, I hardly would have heard a peep from anyone, but because I hopped on and had fun looking my worst, they tried to tear me apart.
 
Is This the Real World?
And while I’m ok because, my sense of self-worth comes from me not strangers on the interweb, I’m secure in who I am, and (I’ll admit to this small vanity because let’s face it those assholes certainly aren’t popping onto my website trying to better themselves, lol) I actually look way better than I did in that video about 98% of the time, my heart hurts a bit.  I am a stranger, that has never done anything to these people other than having the gall to look bad in a tiktok.  Not only that but a coach that tries to lift people up and help them love themselves and their life.  And not one person took the time to look at my profile to see who I was, or how I looked normally, before hurling their best insult in an effort to be mean.

So many people said, “Well I’m just honest, I say what other people are to afraid to”.  Umm... no that’s called manners!  They have better manners than you and keep their mouths shut.  Oh, and my favorite, the people who admit that they’d NEVER treat somebody like that in person but it’s TikTok so it’s ok!!!????  Person after person said, well you posted it so you deserve us being mean.  And it got me to thinking, is that our mentality now?  Do we deserve hatred and bullying because we wanted to have fun and participate in a trend?
 
I Deleted A LOT of My Own Replies
I sincerely went on and participated in the trend because I’m happy with how I’m aging, I’m proud of what 43 looks like on me, it seemed like innocent fun.  And these strangers took that as an invitation to be horrid to me.  And so many of them were downright gleeful about it!!!  They took joy in trying to make me feel bad about myself.  And I won’t even go into the ones who accused me of being racist when I replied to their nastiness.  A handful of these people (of every skin tone) got downright feral when I called them out on their behavior.  One woman went so far as to stalk my other videos to leave nasty comments trying to undermine my messages of hope and joy.  Messages intended to help people love their lives, to find their joy.  And this woman tried to stop me from being able to do that?

Sometimes I’d clap back, and other times I’d go for the kill em with kindness route, when I decided to respond at all.  And the kindness route always had people backtracking.  I got apologies, I got people deleting their comments.  Those people give me hope, because I don’t think they truly want to be bullies.  They’re just looking for a boost and some joy in whatever way they can find it.  Hopefully the interaction left them thinking about the person on the other side of the screen.  Fingers crossed it got them thinking about how they’re getting that dopamine hit they’re grasping for.  Because being an asshole just ain’t it.

But the people that gave me the most hope were the handful of mostly women, and a couple of gents, that either lifted me up and supported me or made sure their disgust in the majority of my comment section was well know.  These beautiful souls give me faith in humanity.  They let me know that we’re not doomed.  Their kindness (when I admittedly didn’t look my best) touched my heart.  Because their instinct wasn’t to hurt but to offer love.  To protect, to support, to lift up.  Those beautiful souls deserve the world, and they’ll never know how very much they stood out to me during all of this.
 
Moral of the Story
I finally turned off the comments because the hate got repetitive and I get to choose the environment I put myself in.  At the end of the day, I’m fine.  I love myself, I am a beautiful soul, a unique expression of divine source energy, and I’m doing important work.  I’m in charge of my happiness and, quite frankly, I don’t give these people permission to rob me of any of it. And here’s the thing that these assholes never even thought of, their hate helps me spread my messages of love and joy.  It widens my reach!  And that is divine retribution if you ask me. It’s beautifully fitting.  So, I acknowledge that bit of sadness that this experience has shown me, it’s valid after all, but I release it with love.  If I, somebody with thick skin, has to handle a little hate to spread a lot of love then so be it.  Because what these fuckers don’t realize is I’m one bad ass bitch and I won’t stop being a light to guide people seeking their path to joy. 

And if this experience has shown me anything, it’s that what I have to offer in my course is more important than ever.  Because we aren’t just fighting a battle with ourselves these days, but we’re also having to protect ourselves from keyboard warriors, bullies, and trolls.  People who are so unhappy that the only way they can get joy is to try and steal it from others.  And the best defense against pathetic actions like that is to be solid in who you are and where your happiness actually comes from.  Because once you know that, once you own that, once you dedicate yourself to nurturing that, there’s not a soul on earth who can hurt you with their words.
 
Please Remember!!!
Let me leave you with a final reminder, do better.  Check yourself. I had to look back and think, have I left comments that could have been far more hurtful than I intended?  Let’s be honest, I probably have.  But you can be damn sure I won’t be doing that anymore.  I’ll let the three gates guide me before I ever start typing.  I urge you to do the same!  Just remember:
1.Is it true
2.Is it necessary
3.Is it kind
If it doesn’t pass all three gates, don’t type it.  Because what we can do/say and what we should do/say are vastly different things.  And to the assholes that spent the past few weeks bullying me, have the month you deserve!