​Can I Be Honest With You?
When I first started my blog my goal was simply to share my journey.  Ups and downs, good and bad, my wins and my misses.  That’s it, that’s all.  Now I’ve come a long way since I first started my journey.  So far that I get to now actively help others on their journey to having joy in their life.  I get to combine my experience and the certifications I’ve gotten along the way and be of service.  And I love doing what I do!  But, at the end of the day this blog is still about my journey, about sharing what I learn as I learn it.  And when you’re on a journey like this it doesn’t really ever end.  The learning, growing, and changing never stops.  The discovery of who you are, and who you were, and who you’re becoming…that’s an ongoing process.  So today, I’m going to share with you one of my misses.
 
It's not a loss, I don’t judge myself for it.  (Not gonna lie, the freedom from my own judgement makes me want to cry happy tears.  That was my biggest win.  I don’t always sustain it, cuz habit energies and limiting beliefs don’t just disappear in an instant, but it’s very rare that it happens.  But I digress.)  So yeah, I’m human and I humaned last week.  I hit a wee bump that knocked me of course and didn’t deal with it as well as I could have.  But, with said lack of judgement, I can look at it and say, ok cool I’ve got some room for improvement there.  It’s done, can’t change it but I can get honest with myself and go from there.  So, here we go, ready for a peek behind the curtain at what happens when a transformation and empowerment coach ignores her pain?  Let’s get raw.
 
So There I Was
I was driving down the street the other day and I looked over and out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw my ex.  My heart fell into my toes for a split second and I turned to look at my mom and told her what I thought I saw.  She then told me she thought she had seen him the previous week.  Then, she kept bringing him up.  And I could tell it’s all just a bit too fresh still for me to want to dive into it, because honestly I’m just trying to get passed it at this point.  I’d like to let go of him completely.  And while the way he ended things gave me absolutely zero closure and way more questions than answers, I’ve been doing better and better with said letting go.  But, and it’s kind of a big but, I haven’t been doing so great about being honest about the pain.
 
Don’t get me twisted, I’ve taken moments to cry, moments to honor it, moments to acknowledge it.  But I never admitted how much it actually hurt me.  Let me tell you right now, you HAVE to feel it to heal it.  And I was so inclined to keep following my joy that I didn’t set myself up for healing and for letting go.  So I saw the person that looked like him, talked about him on a surface level with my mom, and tried to let it go because Friday’s are not days you feel like examining your bruised heart and ego.  Let me tell you right now exactly what I did wrong just in case you haven’t caught on yet, and if you haven’t no judgment because clearly I didn’t either.  The second I felt my stomach drop, and later on when I pushed tears aside, I should have made some time for myself.  I didn’t and so what did I do…. I lashed out at people who had absolutely nothing to do with my pain. 
 
Woops, I Had a Human Moment
Yeah, that’s right.  Hey habit energy, hey coping mechanism, hey low vibe energy.  None of you serve me but oh the righteousness.  I had power, I could be in control of those situations.  Hurt people hurt people and oh man, I tried not to until I didn’t try not to.  Then, the next day I finally decided to admit that I’ve still got pain around the breakup.  And shout out to my bestie who pulled out all the very best skills she has for being with honest with me, and making me be honest with myself.  I let it all out, and here's where having somebody you trust (be they paid professional or not) comes in handy, with her help in a way that I wasn’t able to do by myself.  Sometimes it takes somebody else asking questions and making stellar points for you to finally get to the source of the hurt and let it out.
 
I grieved, I cried, I spoke my truth even though it wasn’t what I wanted to be feeling.  Because I’m a spiritually advanced chick who helps other people find joy, I don’t want to still be hurting 4 months after a breakup.  But how I ever thought I could heal if I didn’t at least admit my feelings before working on them is beyond me.  I needed somebody to help me understand that, and give me the safe space to admit them.  So silly really, I am that safe space for people and didn’t recognize that is exactly what I needed.  It's like looking in a mirror and not recognizing yourself.  Oh well, still not judging myself for it.  And I’m glad the cry fest happened.  I needed that release, and it felt damn good to have it.  Now I get to work on the healing part a bit more, but you better bet I’ll be honest about my pain now.
 
Short Story Long
As long as we don’t cling to, and form an unhealthy attachments to, our pain it’s perfectly ok to feel it.  Because if we don’t, we could end up lashing out at people that just simply don’t deserve it.  Like I did.  Don’t be a me!  Do what I say not what I do, lol.  Just in case you were wondering, I have since reached out to the person I was a bitch to and apologized.  Because I own my shit.  Can’t change it, but I can apologize for it.  Luckily for me, the people I now have in my life are pretty epic people and forgiveness comes easily to them.  So yeah, I was human over the weekend.  I was not embracing the best parts of me, hiding from the ugly, avoiding the pain.  And guess what, there will be times I’m human again.  Times I’m a little less spiritual coach and a little more raw.  That’s ok, those moments will help me grow.  And remember how I said I don’t judge myself?  Old me would have, and I would have been a mess this week.  But this newest and best version of myself, oh she’s thriving.
 
PS: If you are wanting to get to a place where you have more joy and less judgment in your life here’s the link to 10 Minute Mini-MasterClass on releasing your blocks to happiness.  It’s Free, and you absolutely deserve to be living a life that brings you joy.

​So What Happened Was…
I’ve noticed over the course of my journey so far that habitual energy can be an insidious presence.  Sneaking up when you least expect it.  Impacting your actions, your feelings, your thoughts.  I like to think I’m fairly aware of it and catch it early on for the most part.  But man, LBL Week showed me that it is far more prevalent in my life than I even realized.  In telling myself that I am my best version and acting accordingly, when those old thoughts and behaviors popped up as frequently as they did I was honestly a little surprised.  Because here’s the thing about anybody who decides to change their life into one they love and explores a spiritual path to get there… we really like to think we’re above stuff like that…but the truth is we’re not.  Nope, turns out we are, in fact, only human.

Now I’m happy to say I’m actually ok with that, I don’t judge myself for my humanness.  I don’t think less of myself when I catch habitual energy popping up.  And I certainly don’t let myself fall into a depressive state anymore because I’ve done something I consider less than ideal.  But don’t get me twisted… I will absolutely be using those moments as a catalyst for growth and improvement.  There won’t be any settling, because that’s just not who I am anymore.  Nope, instead I will celebrate the moments that are less than perfect because I know something pretty bad ass will be coming my way because of them.  You can also bet that I am now very aware of when habitual energy is rearing its head.
 
So Habitual Energy Is What?
If you aren’t familiar with the term habitual energy let me break it down for you.  It’s probably pretty darn close to what you’d imagine it being.  Things you do, thoughts, behaviors, actions, etc that you’re so used to doing and thinking that they simply become habit.  But here’s the kicker, they don’t serve you.  They might be comforting in their familiarity in some cases, but they aren’t contributing towards your highest good.  Most of them probably feel pretty icky and if you were to drill down you’d see they come from lack of self-love and not feeling worthy.  It can be that voice in your head telling you that you made a bad choice, or that you aren’t good looking enough, or that you’re an imposter.  Honestly when it comes down to it, if it in any way isn’t celebrating that you are here and alive it’s probably habitual energy.

There will be people that want to argue that I’ve gone too general here but I disagree.  If you are on a journey to love your life, to change at a fundamental level, to thrive… then anything that says otherwise, or keeps you from doing anything other than that, is probably a habitual energy.  Now, like I said, there’s no need to beat ourselves up over those moments when you notice them.  In fact, just the fact that you noticed it is pretty damn rad, because the you that you used to be, the one you didn’t love so much, never would have even noticed those thoughts or actions as being habitual and not serving us. It’s pretty amazing what we’ve become conditioned to accepting, especially when it’s coming from us and not others.  You can set, and stick to, boundaries like a champ when it comes to other people, but have you checked on your inner monologue lately?  Mine wasn’t as impeccable as I thought it was once I started paying attention to it.
 
Clarifying What You Do Want
There was some pretty sexy synchronicity happening over the past few weeks though in regards to all of that fun stuff.  And by fun stuff I mean noticing that I had habitual energy popping up way more often than I expected.  How is that sexy synchronicity happening (you may be asking)?  Well it just so happened that even though I was hyper aware of that energy popping up, I also had messages pouring in from the universe left and right reminding me not to trip out about it.  An Abraham Hicks audio here, a Thich Nhat Hanh quote there.  It was almost as if the universe was saying girl we’re only giving you just enough time to observe the habitual energy but not anywhere near enough time to be disappointed in yourself because of it.  And I’m not gonna lie, it felt really good.  Loving myself, knowing I’m a bad ass bitch that is just slaying life even in, and maybe especially because of, her moments of imperfection.
​
I chose to focus on that.  Because when does focusing on what we don’t want ever do us any favors?  Think about it for a second.  Think of something in your life that you don’t want or want less of.  Go ahead really focus on it for a minute.  What feelings are coming up?  Did you feel your energy get icky? (I’m running with icky as a technical term today my friends, it’s just so accurate.)  Ok now think of the opposite of that, think of what you want more of in your life.  Is it joy, love, laughter, prosperity, connection?  Focus on the more that you want.  Maybe get a little crazy and fine tune some details of what it would feel like to have that.  How did that feel?  Did you feel your energy shift, get a little lighter, maybe smile a bit?  You see, when you focus on and clarify what you do want it feels so much better than it’s opposite!
 
Moral of my Story
So I invite you to do that.  Actually let me clarify here, I invite you to do a few things.  First, take some of that LBL Week energy, the knowing you are your best self already, and pay attention to how you’re flowing through life.  Next, notice when habitual energy pops up.  Then, celebrate your awareness of it.  Simply observe!  No judging, just witness it.  Maybe give yourself a high five for noticing it at all because old you wouldn’t have.  And last, find its opposite, the thing you want more of and focus on that.  Clarify it.  And do me a HUGE favor, whenever you’re visualizing or imagining or daydreaming of your kick ass future…always leave room for OR BETTER.  Because if there’s one thing I do want us all to be in the habit of, it’s never upper limiting ourselves. No go forth and have fun with it.  Let me know how it goes for you.  Because, as always, it’s so much fun to share our journey with the people who will celebrate you simply for being on it and I am definitely one of those people!

​LBL Week
So, there's a viral trend storming social media called delusional week.  I love the premise, but I just can't get behind the name.  If you aren't familiar with delusional week it is when you visualize a future version of yourself that is already successful, sexy, happy, and healthy. You've done it, attained everything you wanted to. Then you ask yourself, how this version of you would go through daily life. What are the habits, behaviors, mindset, etc of that person? And then, for that week that is what you do.
 
Like I said, I can really get behind the premise of it all, but the name doesn't fit.  It implies that anything you do in that week isn't really you, it isn't how you are.  But, it isn't a delusion, you aren't just acting as if.  You're letting that version of yourself show up and take the lead.  As a Transformation and Empowerment Coach I am always in a place where I welcome growth, improvement, and an opportunity to align with my authentic self.  So...I changed the name, tweaked it a bit, and decided I will try it on for size. And thus, Live your BEST Life Week was born!
 
 
How I Prepped for LBL Week
As soon as I decided I had to do this (because this is one of the principles in Infinite Possibilities training so how could I not?) I started getting really excited.  I talked to a few people about it and they jumped on board so I figured why not invite everybody on social media to join as well.  The coach in me wanted to offer a way for setting ourselves up for success, surprise surprise. So, I created a guide that had a journal prompt with questions to help frame mindset for the week and a few loose guidelines.
 
I wanted to make sure I was fully embodying this future version in my present moment.  Becoming her, being vibrationally aligned with that energy, was key.  Because when you align with your best self you allow all kinds of good things to flow into your life.  So, I figured out what her schedule would look like, what she would eat, how she would approach her workday, and what other elements she'd absolutely include in her day.  I also tuned into how she would handle stress, unpleasant surprises, and communication. Then I did every task I could to pave the way for a smooth week.  Stuff like laundry, meal planning, etc.  Surprisingly enough, I had fun doing those things because I knew I was setting myself up for success.
 
 
How the Week Went
Well overall it was mind blowingly fantastic!.  Day 1 was illuminating.  I was motivated and kept wondering how I could level up, if there was anything I could do better.  On the flip side I had a hiccup early on where I got a bit snappy when my flow was interrupted.  But I caught it immediately and noted it.  I also periodically would see thoughts coming in that did not serve me.  I recognized them as habitual energy popping up and say nope, that’s a past version of me.  I’m living at my fullest, my highest, and my best now. Overall, I was left happy as a clam, and even those hiccups I celebrated as an opportunity for growth.  Another funny side effect is that best me really wanted to have more control over what I was putting on (and in) my body and I made a few investments so I could make more of my own food.  Day 2 started with an epic realization I received during visualization (funny note I get some of my best messages during visualization time, not meditation time which you wouldn’t expect but there ya go) that had to do with a limiting belief I’ve been carrying that I needed to let go of.  I promptly did so. 
 
Days 3 and 4 were interesting.  I had hit a mid-week “lull” and while my mornings started out magical I ran into something I had experienced before on my overall journey.  It’s a feeling that if you don’t have this huge influx of excitement, synchronicity, and real momentum going, that you’re somehow doing something wrong.  Now, I know that’s not true.  In fact if we keep on with our journey metaphor, sometimes you need to take a beat and pull over to just take it all in.  Once I remembered that little nugget, I was filled with a calm contentment that I actually allowed myself to enjoy.  Day 5 I was back to being invigorated and energized and thoroughly in love with life allowing great things to flow my way.  Throughout it all I was extremely motivated to work on my online course I’ll be releasing next year and got quite a bit of progress made.  The weekend was “downtime”, but productive downtime.  I still kept that outlook of setting myself up for success and found extra things to do throughout my days that made me feel incredibly happy.
 
 
Final Thoughts
I recognized this early on, but I will definitely be carrying this on as a lifestyle change and not just a one week challenge.  I felt empowered, I felt aligned, and the universe just kept sending wonderful moments my way.  There were plenty of times when I would find myself in “old version” habitual energies and thoughts, but I’d catch myself early and flip the script on them.  In observing my behaviors, and noting the “proof” that I was in fact living my best life I felt like I was cementing in these changes in a way that will last.  The experience was fun and eye opening.  Even the moments where I’d think, “oh this isn’t best version behavior”, I was excited to find opportunities for growth.  And I even had a few moments where I could work on more healing, which is always a beautiful experience.
 
The people doing it with me and sharing their experiences noticed similarities in their week as well.  The stuff they used as filler, like scrolling and mindless tv time, wasn’t a part of their week.  They’d catch themselves in old thought patterns and turn them around.  Having aha! moments was a common experience throughout the week and noticing areas where it was time to start leveling up was exciting instead of daunting.  They were also incredibly motivated and found themselves looking for productive things to do.  As I start this new week I’m excited to keep applying the I AM my best self mindset, and I know I’m not alone in that.
 
If you tried LBL Week on for size I would love to hear how it went for you.  If you didn’t and you want to, here is the link for your FREE guide to setting yourself up for success.  I am always around for anybody who has questions and feels like they need a little bit of support, so never hesitate to reach out.

I’m Finally Free
I don’t typically like to talk about the same thing two weeks in a row.  But I had a rather poignant realization last week that I think will be helpful to others in addition to myself.  It was an aha! moment that just clicked effortlessly into place.  Now, while it had to do with the breakup I mentioned last week, it can actually be applied to most areas of life.  So let me give you a little background then I’ll dive into the realization that I had and then we can play around with applying this mindset shift in other aspects of life.
 
 
The Background
In general, if you aren’t familiar with me, I am a person who doesn’t really jive with the victim/victor ego based mentality that most of us humans have.  I used to be that way, I was the epitome of a victim all you had to do was ask me to figure that out. (Insert wry wink here) But since deciding to change my life I no longer embrace that mindset.  I am in control, I get to make all the choices, even if it’s in how I respond to situations outside of my control, I still have control over my response.  It’s a lovely way to be and an empowering mindset.  But as you are about to find out, I’m not perfect and that victim mentality can still sneak in without you noticing it.
 
Enter me getting dumped the night before Thanksgiving by my boyfriend’s business partner.  Yes, that’s right, he couldn’t even be bothered to do it himself.  (Go ahead and scoff and sneer, I certainly won’t judge you for it.)  I promptly got drunk and went to sleep because I could not deal at that moment.  The next day I had about 15 minutes of being absolutely distraught followed by determination to chase my joy instead of wallow in my misery.  And since then, I’ve done pretty well but I still have my moments where I can’t quite make peace with it.  I honor my pain, bless him with love, and release him from my life only to have him pop back up in my mind making me feel icky all over again.  And while I get over these episodes fairly quickly, I couldn’t figure out why I kept having them.
 
 
The Realization
So, there I was showering the other morning listening to Abraham Hicks talk about manifesting a dream home.  (What you don’t do that? Insert another wink.)  Suddenly the fully formed realization popped into mind and I said out loud, “Holy Shit I get it!”.  So here we go, let’s give you the lead up to the grand realization.  I had been putting out to the universe for quite some time that I was perfectly happy with however the relationship went.  If it ended, I’d have an amazing partner next and if it stayed my guy would finally step up to the plate and be the partner I deserved.  Because I knew with 100% certainty I was deserving and worthy of a loving and happy relationship.  So if the universe would just help me figure out what it was I should do, that’d be nifty.  Well it did…but I wasn’t paying attention.
 
Ok to be fair I was, but I was avoiding the pain that came with the end of that relationship.  So the universe said cool, he’ll stop communicating with you.  I stayed in it.  It said, ok now he’ll never be around.  I stayed in it.  The universe said, he will meet absolutely none of the needs a romantic partner is supposed to meet.  I stayed in it.  So the universe said, here hold my beer you aren’t gonna miss this one.  And I got brutally dumped in such a way that I will never in a million years speak to let alone try to be with that man again.  Keep in mind, I was putting out the frequency of I am ready for and deserving of a happy relationship.  The universe said babe, it’s not gonna be with this guy and since you can’t quite let go on your own… you’re getting dumped.  Have you figured out what I did yet?
 
The Results
For the past few months I have felt like a victim.  I just didn’t recognize I was doing it.  I was a victim of his behavior, his cold heartedness, his…lack of self worth and emotional intelligence.  I didn’t proclaim myself as such, but somewhere underneath it all I had parked myself firmly in the victim camp.  Until this morning when I realized, I wasn’t the victim but the perpetrator.  In the best possible way!!!  I had vibrated at a level higher than that man was capable of matching.  I have gotten myself to an awesome place of attraction where good things are flowing my way.  I took my power back, I’ve owned it and celebrated it.  I live a joyful life.  So of course the universe isn’t gonna let me keep somebody like him around.  I deserve better.
 
And as of this morning I actually see it as the amazing manifestation of my desires that it was.  As my mom loves to say, you gotta get rid of the bullshit to make room for the magnificence.  And that’s exactly what I did.  When I tell you I have been giggling gleefully on and off all weekend I’m actually underselling it.  It’s funny because I knew the end of that relationship meant I was open for a much better one to flow in.  So I had half of the equation right.  But my perspective was one of a victim.  And the very second I shifted that perspective from victim to empowered bad ass boss bitch who cleared clutter to make room for the prize, ooh baby I came alive.
 
The End-ish
You’ll probably hear me say, “well you made it happen, that’s what you were putting out there” fairly often.  But here’s the thing, making it happen and taking the “blame” isn’t always a bad thing.  Just like I didn’t put out there “oh I wanna get dumped in a painful and heartbreaking way”.  No, what I put out there was I’m ready to have a relationship that matches my joyful energy.  One that fits the me I am now and is rewarding and fun.  Do you see the difference there?  In one perspective I’m a horrible person that brought it on myself, in the other scenario I’m an empowered human being making room for the magnificence.
 
That mindset shift, that subtle difference in perspective is a very powerful thing.  And I invite you to see if you can’t make that same shift the next time you find yourself stuck in a situation that makes you feel like you know you’re better than being stuck in, but can’t quite get beyond.  Two questions for you.  1- Am I unknowingly playing the victim here?  2- If I were to view this through the lens of the absolute certainty that it’s for my highest good, how does this serve me?  Those answers should be pretty helpful and before you know it you’ll be feeling just as footloose and fancy free as I am after that epic realization.
 
PS. This week I’m doing LBL Week and I figured next week’s blog I’ll recap all the things that happened.  I feel like sharing my results will be a fun way for you to see the effects of a mindset shift.  And I’m nothing if not honest so you’ll get my ups and downs.  Life ain’t perfect baby but it sure is grand!!  If you want to do LBL Week here’s the link for your FREE guide to set yourself up for success.