​The Manic Mode Phenomenon

It's Happening A Lot Recently 
I’ve seen this phenomenon that happens right before a person is ready to level up.  They’ve implemented a few changes here and there and it feels good to have grown, it feels good to be making choices and changes that serve them mind, body, and soul.  So now they’re ready to take it to the next level and make some perspective shifts, some paradigm shifts, but Ego freaks out.  It’s an unknown path, there’s none of the comfort of familiarity, and the identity they, and therefor Ego, has clung to for so long is now threatened.  Ego doesn’t like that!

Ego doesn’t care if the changes ahead, in mindset, thought, action, and/or deed, are positive.  Instead, it’s as if Ego experiences sheer terror that suddenly manifests in the person seeming a bit…for lack of a better word…manic.  When they hit this manic mode they make choices that are questionable, they act out, they freak out, they break down, they indulge in behavior they don’t even like while they’re doing it, and the list goes on.  So there they are, stuck in this weird limbo between wanting to change and rebelling against the change.  Simultaneously trying to run right back into the comforting arms of life as they’ve known it (except when they do it somehow just doesn’t feel as good as it once did) and aggressively chasing a future version of themselves they’re ready to become right now.  Sounds exhausting right? 
 
How’s This Different Than Before?
Being in the middle of that is not only exhausting but it can also be defeating, scary, and debilitating.  I’ve been there, I’ve seen it in people around me both personally and professionally, and I see it in people across social media as well.  It can feel like you’re losing your mind, like you’ve been possessed, and like you’re downright out of control.  But there’s something about this manic mode that is actually pretty wonderful, though you can’t always see it when you’re living it.  This is usually the point that is the catalyst for finally changing your life for the better.  For finally becoming the person you’ve been meant to become.  (Yes, I said usually.  That’s because for some of us it takes a few rounds of this before we finally say enough is enough.)

So what makes this different than other times you’ve hit lows in your life?  Well, remember when I said manic mode kicks in after a person has seen successful results from implementing changes?  That’s the indicator that somewhere along the line you either consciously or subconsciously decided it’s time to change.  You’ve changed direction and are now firmly facing the path of living a better life, even if you haven’t fully started down it quite yet.  You went from wanting change to being ready for change.  And believe me, there’s a difference between the two.  It’s I should or I want to versus I am, I can, and I will.  It’s thinking about doing it versus actually doing it.  You feel me yet?
 
So Close I Can Taste It
In the past you’d spiral and unravel, then regret.   Maybe you tried something and failed, maybe you almost tried something but didn’t.  You didn’t question why it didn’t work, you just judged yourself for failing…again.  And in true vicious circle fashion, disappointment, blame, and judgement led you to indulge in behaviors, thoughts, and activities that didn’t serve you, which made you feel even worse…wash, rinse, and repeat ad nauseum.  And through all of that you may have wanted to change, but you never quite hit the point of, ok enough is enough I AM changing.  Until at some point you did and that’s why manic mode is hitting different than all of your previous lows.

This time, to put it simply, you’re aware it’s happening because you’re not the you that you were before that shift.  Your silent witness is watching it all happen and you’re aware of it.  And even more importantly, so is the authentic you. That heart based you is aware of this all and is saying, “You deserve so much better than to feel the way you’re feeling”.  The only part of you that previously was aware of what you’re doing when you were hitting a low or engaged in anything that didn’t serve you, was only aware enough to heap on the self-judgement and self-loathing and blame.  Now you’re seeing it and clocking it as an area with room for improvement.
 
So What’s a Person To Do?
Ok, so now we know why manic mode is different than your previous lows.  How do we handle it?  We take that readiness and intention for change, that shift from wanting to doing, and we solidify it.  We make it real and lock that shift into place.  Think of this as your enough is enough moment.  It’s your WTF am I doing moment.  It’s your I refuse to keep doing this moment.  It’s your there’s got to be more to life than this moment.  If you’re where I was it could even be your, I either end it all or drastically change my life, and I’m not giving up, so change it is moment.  Recognize it and own it.  When manic mode hits you know you’re not at your best, you’re aware of it so allow yourself to use it as a power for good and not evil.

I can’t even begin to count how many times I, and many others, hit a wonky phase and said well I’m not doing so hot so I’m going to lean into it.  Or even better, let me use my escape mechanism du jour and try to avoid it altogether.  It never works.  You can’t run fast or far or for long enough to escape your issues.  But you can look at your rough patch and say, “Ok, this is where I’m at right now and I don’t love it, let’s put you to use, how can you serve me?” and then get inquisitive.  This is an opportunity to uncover needs that aren’t being met, or to define what kind of a life you want and what kind of a person you want to be.  It’s an opportunity to recognize habitual behaviors, thoughts, and actions that don’t serve you.  Step one, recognize you’re in manic mode.  Step two, use it.  Step three, get excited about the unknown and the infinite possibilities that are ahead of you with a new mindset.  Step four, level the fuck up!!!  You deserve it and it feels so good!
 
Be a Beautiful Flower
The moment you say I can’t take it anymore and/or I don’t want to do this anymore you’re suddenly free.  Free to become the person you truly are underneath years of conditioning and negative self-talk.  You’re free to become your authentic self, and that’s such a beautiful and amazing experience.  And hitting manic mode…it can be the catalyst to get you there!  Allow it to be a defining and empowering part of your journey!  You can take the icky and make it magnificent.  Who says we have to be brought low by our less than perfect moments?  Who says we have to be derailed by the bullshit?  I mean think of it, some of the most beautiful flowers grow, not in spite of but because of, bullshit. (What do you think fertilizer is?) 
 
So, allow your manic moment to be your fertilizer and become a beautiful flower my friend.  There’s no better time than now, especially if you're in the midst of manic mode.  Definitely if Ego is freaking out on you and you're finding yourself doing things a past version of you was fine with but don't feel so great to who you are now.  And if you don’t know how to recognize Ego, let alone get it to back off, reach out.  I would be honored to help you.  There’s no law that says you have to do it alone!